Unique or Geek?
Growing up in a family of four girls, we had many obstacles to overcome, but mine was one of a particularly challenging experience for me. I was extremely tall when compared to all the other students in school which made me stand out from all the others. To a child, that is not a good thing as I had preferred to take on the role of being invisible and to simply blend in and not draw attention to myself.
As if the height challenge wasn’t enough, add to that the fact that my mom was a do-it-yourselfer who really believed she could avoid the hairdresser and associated costs by cutting our hair. Well the hair itself wasn’t totally awful but the bangs were another story completely.
Looking at us, you would have thought she used a machete to cut them as there was no semblance of a straight line anywhere to be seen. In some places, it resembled the old rick rack trim that a seamstress might sew onto the edge of a dress, while in other places, there were longer pieces just chopped bluntly. I have never understood how anyone could botch bang cutting so badly, but I still have the photos as evidence to those who fail to believe it. I am not exaggerating or joking about how bad they looked and still cannot believe we weren’t the laughing stock of school. Of course, perhaps we were and I just never knew about it. We continue to tease mom about her blatant lack of hair cutting skills to this day because she still likes to chop and cut her own hair. Fortunately, she has wised up a bit over the years and now has my dad doing most of her cutting because he can actually cut a straight line.
As time went on in school, there were other things that drew more negative attention to me and despite my protests, she was relentless in her beliefs. She wouldn’t let me shave my legs in the 7th grade despite the fact that all my friends were doing it. Of course that information made it’s way around the locker room faster than a wildfire and I was continually made fun of by all. Mom also wouldn’t let me go to slumber parties in 7th or 8th grade because I might turn out to be “One of THOSE Girls”. I was teased mercilessly by my friends and their friends; no one had my back .
I used to look back at all these differences and feel totally victimized and alone and blamed my mother for my miserable school years. Now, I have a completely different perspective. I now embrace those situations because I truly was different from everyone else and I still am. Despite the anguish and hurt feelings I experienced, I realized that I was being primed to learn how to be OK with who I really was. We had a close knit family whereas most of my friends were only children whose parents worked continually and left them to their own devices.
As I examined our differences, it became more clear that I had parents who actually cared about our welfare and needs enough to put restrictions on specific things. My friends had no limitations; that was a huge revelation for me later in life. Perhaps the universe was telling me all along that I was supposed to think bigger and embrace my individuality. That is exactly the message I received loud and clear but it wasn’t until decades later that I would actually look back and laugh at my old victim mentality. The reality is that I was being groomed to be the amazing, unique and tall woman that I am today. I have taken the time to learn to embrace those differences and be grateful for them. Being open to shifting my perspective allowed me the gift of letting it all go while embracing those experiences for the lessons I learned. In my opinion, that is invaluable. Having a bit of perspective is an amazing gift even if it isn’t in the time frame we might expect.