Happiness or Disillusionment?
When I was a starry-eyed teenager, I used to think that having my own car would make me happy. When I finally got my first car, I was convinced that I had died and gone to heaven. My car was my baby; my everything; that is until the excitement wore off, the newness wore off and I was a lot less enchanted because now I had to buy gas and foot the repair bills on a used car.
After nine months, I saw a photo of someone driving a 914 Porsche and convinced myself once again that I just had to have one too and that surely a car like that would make me happy once again. I searched high and low and finally found one that suited my budget. I happily traded in my car without a second thought and proceeded to spend an inordinate amount of money on racing stripes, pinstriping, custom mats etc. I felt empowered each time I slid behind the wheel and drove off to the distinct roar of the engine. I was driving in style and the car drew a lot of attention which also didn’t hurt my feelings. I was more than happy now…..I was exhilarated.
A ski trip to Bear Valley quickly changed my state of happiness . A speeding ticket and a broken solenoid turned my empowerment and excitement into feeling very disempowered and challenged by these situations. Needless to say, it was a very expensive ski trip and yet another lesson in why “things” don’t make us happy. I managed to pay all that off, but by then, the excitement of Porsche ownership vanished along with all my hard earned money. What was I thinking? I truly think I had a temporary moment of insanity when I chose to embark on the purchase of that car. I suddenly realized that I was owned by my car…..my car wasn’t owned by me.
This time, I figured I would get a less expensive mode of transportation, nothing too flashy, but I wanted reliability so I traded the Porsche in on a brand new Toyota Celica. It was gorgeous and once again filled me with excitement. That new car smell was like a magical elixir and filled my senses to a heightened happiness (or so I thought at the time). The car was fun to drive, mechanically sound, sporty and all mine….along with the car payment of course. I convinced myself that I was truly happy with my selection but the newness would wear off yet again leaving me less than enchanted with my vehicle. It was a vicious cycle. What was I doing wrong?
One would tend to think at this point that I should have been able to figure this out and realize that a car would never make me happy. Unfortunately, some of us take a little longer to process these things. I, apparently, was one of those slow learners. I hate to admit what I am going to tell you, but I feel I must come forward and be truthful so I can possibly save some of you from a similar fate.
I didn’t learn my lesson for a very long time; in fact, I have owned a total of 19 different vehicles from the age of 16 until about 15 years ago. Can we spell “foolish” boys and girls? I am happy to be able to say though, that I have owned my current vehicle for 15 years now and I am still content with my original purchase and do not feel compelled in any way to purchase another vehicle to make me happy. It only took me 30 years to finally figure it all out. I hope to save all of you a lot of time and money by sharing my pearls of wisdom with you.
What I discovered 11 years ago was that all I had to do was stop looking “outside” myself for happiness because it was never there in the first place. It was a rude awakening; kind of like Dorothy waking up in her own bed repeating those famous words “There’s no place like home”. I finally discovered that true happiness only comes from “within”. The moment I finally figured it out was a huge revelation for me.
Just for fun, I decided to calculate the amount of money that I had spent on all the cars, increased insurance premiums, repairs, rental cars etc. After that little exercise, I was convinced more than ever that I had clearly lost my mind for those 30 years! To think that I had convinced myself and actually believed that a hunk of metal would ever make me happy, makes me laugh out loud at myself now.
Do you want to know what the true discovery was? It was the fact that I could have purchased my home and paid for half of it in CASH with all the money I spent on buying and trading in cars. The numbers were astounding and provided a true wake up call for me. A little too late in my instance, but never too late for all of you. If I had only been content with a functional vehicle instead of “trying to keep up with the others, keep up with the trends, trying to look cool, look like a big spender and trying to impress others…etc, etc. etc.
What a revelation! I only wish I had figured it out 18 cars ago. So….the moral of my story is this – stop looking OUTSIDE yourself for happiness because it is, and always has been within you. You are no different than Dorothy and the sooner you accept this, the easier your life will be. Nothing can make you happy except you. No person, place or thing can provide that to you. Simple concept but absolutely true.
Next time you get a great idea in your head to buy the next best thing on the market, please do me a favor and promise me that you will take a few days and really think about what that purchase will mean to you from an emotional standpoint, a mental standpoint and a physical standpoint. I can almost guarantee that once you really give it some thought and explore all the reasons you feel you just have to have it, that you will realize that the object in question will really never make you happy.
Focus on your inner feelings; it now works for me EVERY time……