Day 22 – My Healing Journey

Knowing that the final round was coming up soon, I really had to prepare my mind and my body.  I was already meditating daily but I added journaling to my morning routine so that I could express all of the feelings that I had bottled up inside; all my fears, all my hopes and all of my dreams for my future.

I had been on a continual search for uplifting videos, positivity videos and healing videos when I ran across a YouTube video of a woman named Marisa Peer.  She is a well renowned therapist over in the UK.  I have always been a believer that there are no coincidences and no mistakes so when I found her video, I knew it was meant to be.

She talked about how she had healed herself from cancer without drugs, chemo or radiation and that she had developed a meditation that she called “The Healing Vortex.”  She is very famous for her meditations on numerous subjects but the universe brought this one to me when I needed it the most.

I started using her healing vortex meditation every day and every night and it changed my whole mindset.  Sometimes we get stuck in a rut and our internal record keeps playing the same information over and over again in our heads and it literally holds us hostage.  I was able to release a lot of of my limiting beliefs about my situation with that specific meditation as well as some of her other ones.  She is an amazing therapist and I so enjoy her humor as well as her dedication to making her videos free to people who need them.  I would highly recommend her to anyone who is facing any kind of illness.

The day finally came for my last chemotherapy treatment.  With all the meditation and writing I was certainly more at ease than I was on any of my previous visits. I had to have the usual bloodwork before the treatment just to ensure that everything was in order; thankfully it was and I was able to proceed. 

My sister and I picked another comedy to watch so that we could pass the time. We picked the movie “Date Night with Tina Fey and Steve Carell and definitely generated a lot of endorphins.  It was a great choice and a good way to end my treatments, with a lot of laughter.

We decided to celebrate the occasion and went to Applebee’s for lunch. I was still not eating much at this point but it seemed fitting for the occasion. I was still extremely weak but I was so grateful to know that I wouldn’t have to sit in the chemo room again.  That alone brought a smile to my face.

I was scheduled to see my oncologist a few weeks later to have the second dreaded conversation about follow up radiation treatments. Initially, they told me that I didn’t have to have the chemo and just the radiation. Then after the genetic testing was done, they changed their tune and said I had to have both.

At this point, my body was beaten up, weak, listless, and not able to withstand anything further. There was no way I was ready to subject myself to something that would further my downward spiral.