Are You Living Your Own Truth?
Do you always feel compelled to come to the rescue of family and friends in need without giving yourself a second thought? Do you often compromise yourself so others can get what they want? I learned at a very young age that it felt really good to be able to help others. I felt proud when assisting others but over time, that assistance seemed to take over my entire life and I became a slave to others at my own expense. While I thought I was just being altruistic and thoughtful, I didn’t really see the big picture which was the fact that I was compromising myself and adding to my resentment bank each time I did something to please someone else because generally, it was something I really didn’t want to be doing. I did what I thought others expected of me, rather than what I felt comfortable doing. Guilt played a huge role in a lot of my self-sabotage because I allowed others to guilt me into helping them do things or into doing things for them, or the worst scenario; doing things I really didn’t feel compelled to participate in. Then, the feeling of obligation moved in and somehow took over my life.
It took many years for me to finally ask myself the essential question “What do I want?” When I sat down and really thought about it, I realized that I had been living everyone else’s life except my own; always caring more about their expectations than my own. This is a BIG mistake that many of us make. I am happy to say that I now try to be conscious and take an extra moment in each new situation that presents itself to ask myself that very important question before making any decisions and before volunteering to do something for someone.
There may be days when I am totally interested in helping out to bake 12 dozen cupcakes for the PTA, but on the flipside, there are also days when I refuse to put myself in that position of stress and anguish just to please others. There has to be a balance in everyone’s life. There are going to be days when you can give from your heart with no resentment, no anguish and those are the days you volunteer joyfully with no expectations, no perceived outcomes, just pure willingness.
Now, I fully contemplate each situation and weigh the options, the outcomes and it makes it a lot easier to do those things in love rather than in resentment. Some people might think that it’s selfish to think this way; I believe that it is essential to always be true to yourself. How can you respect others if you don’t even respect yourself? If YOU don’t deserve your respect, who does? Words to contemplate……
