Vanity, Narcissism or Confidence?
What is it that makes certain people better at promoting themselves and their qualities? Some might call it vanity or narcissism but others might view is as simply being confident. I am sure there are many perspectives on this subject so I will share mine. A good friend of mine used to drive me crazy over all of the men that were “allegedly” attracted to her. The fact is that she was physically attractive on the outside but average to most who knew her. Her extreme beauty was within where most people would never have the opportunity to go unless they knew her well and were in her inner circle. In our 20’s and 30’s, each time we would get together, she would be convinced that every man in the room was looking at her and wanted to date her.
I would always wonder to myself how she could continually think that and be so self-assured about it. I finally just came to the conclusion that it was sheer vanity. I would generally never presume that about her based on all I knew about her, but it still always surprised me when we were together that she could be so presumptuous. Her reasoning always pertained to something that she seemed to conjure up about her new outfit, her jewelry, her walk, her twinkle in her eye, but she was absolutely convicted in her belief that these men all wanted her upon first glance.
Perhaps as another female, I was surprised that an average looking woman could think that highly of herself to actually believe those things let alone voice her opinions on them to others with no hesitation. I had to really step outside of the situation in order to take another look at the possibility of a completely new perspective. A perspective that looked at feelings of extreme confidence, self love and knowledge of self. How could possessing those attributes and beliefs be a bad thing?
Over the years, I came to realize that her perspective was actually a very healthy one to have and that my own insecurities kept me from adopting, sharing and embracing that perspective and confidence in myself. I realized that I was beautiful, gifted, loving, kind and 100 other adjectives just like she was. The only difference was our perspective. Over time, I began to shift my perspective and limiting beliefs. I will be forever grateful to her for opening my eyes to my own inner beauty and for teaching me to allow myself to embrace not just my gifts, but my whole self. Vanity, Narcissism or just plain Confidence? Think about it and decide for yourself.
